Me love you long time!!

Disclaimer--ADULT SITUATIONS not suitable for Mothers, Preachers, Children, Homeless people, Prostitutes and Ugly old women.....I can't believe I just made a sentence with Mother and Prostitute...this blog is starting out on the right foot.


What I learned this week…that guys can get yeast infections. That came out funny (that’s what she said) No…but really…I don’t know from personal experience but I do know that guys can get it…this is probably the strangest way to start off my blog but it has been a heck of a strange week… Okay, now that the awkward statement of the day is over…let’s talk about Korea.

Okay, yesterday a group of us went shopping for winter clothes….I thought I was moving to a tropical island paradise, boy was I wrong. It is colder than a well digger's ass…also don’t know from personal experience, that a well digger’s ass is cold….My mom says that phrase all the time…I am so Texan sometimes….anyways….our group split up and my buddy Tommy and I were strolling down the street when this nasty old gypsy looking woman asked if we wanted to buy sex…..I paused and said “Excuse me?” she repeated in Konglish “You want to buy sex?” I thought for a second….is sex a new cologne? ….then it dawned…she wants to sell her nasty saggy body to me….I was shocked….my next thought….but you’re so ugly and old and trashy...nothing like that movie pretty woman…where is Julie Roberts???…Seriously though, who would buy that piece of crap? That is horrible thing to think, but I thought it and I can’t take it back……gosh she looked hideous….so we just ran away as fast as we could…. Serious time for a moment….first of all…my mom would have freaked out if that would have happened to her…I would love to have seen her in that situation…NO…perverts my mom is not a prostitute….goodness…I am talking about my mom being in my shoes…not my mom trying to sell her body to someone…I think I just threw up on my keyboard…My mom is going to slap the crap out of me the next time she see me and I can’t wait. I think partaking in prostitution is despicable and would never buy sex or sell my body for sex….I know there would be a long line to pay to have sex with me but that line will just have to wait forever….or jump on over to the free line. Just kidding mom…don’t have a freak out moment. I think prostitution is a huge problem and women/children are forced into at a young age…it is horrible and I wish it would just go away.

I was going to blog about my strange white neighbor that was banging on my door in his underwear the other morning....but I went this route instead.....here is the short version....Monday morning my neighbor was banging on my door...I thought it was Alexis, my walking to school buddy...so I was screaming give me a damn sec.....I was talking to my sister Courtney online...and I had to finish getting ready...so I finished getting ready...which took about 8 minutes and he keeps banging on my door...I yell again...."HOLD ON." it was freezing outside....I open the door and he is standing there like a child molester in a school zone....CREEPY! He is in boxer underwear and a tiny white shirt....I wanted to throw up....He asked if I was banging on the wall...I looked at him like he was the stupidest person on earth and said "Why would I bang on the walls?" .....I am not having sex or anything...gosh...I am just getting ready...anyways he was really annoying and I said "I don't have time...I have to get to school....." I had time...just not for him....as he walked away I swear he had poop stains on his boxer.......

And the strange week continues....