The Devil!

Have you ever woke up and thought “Where the hell am I?” I do that every morning. Seriously, I wake up in panic sometimes and almost wet myself but then I realize that I am just in Korea. Korea is like a neverland. Time goes by so fast and I don’t ever keep track. Nothing matters here.

The only thing I stress over is what to eat or what is the Korean phrase for “What the hell am I eating.” Every day at school I eat weird bizarre and sometimes disgusting food but I kind of like it. It’s funny because I would usually look forward to lunch, with me being a fatty in all. I love my food but here food is just something I do. Today we had potatoes with maple syrup. I didn’t know it was maple syrup, but I was so excited to eat potatoes. I piled those potatoes on my plate…boy I regretted that decision as soon as I took the first bite. Seriously, who puts maple syrup on potatoes?

So, this week has been an incredibly strange week. I don’t blog about everything because my mom would have a heart attack and die. Heck, I have a heart attack and die on a daily basis. I love the daily adventures of walking down the street. Some advice I have got is “Assume every puddle is pee.” Maybe that is why my shoes smells like Kristen’s hair. (Kristen is my annoying sister... by the way, I had a dream about you last night. You and I were fighting and we were so pissed at one another. I woke up still angry. Kind of odd that you piss me off in my sleep. Ha, I love you!)


Friday night I went out to the Casino and it was pretty interesting. It was nothing like casinos back home. This casino was small and had a lot of card tables. I lost 30,000 won which is almost 30 dollars. I am tight and don’t like to lose money. After the casino we went dancing. We danced on the stage and had a really good time. Stuff happened…blah blah blah (You would like to know wouldn’t you…well maybe you can fill me in…) we took a cab back home at about 6:00 am or so. Katie and I were walking home and I stopped to rest on the grass next to city hall. I laid back in the grass and we started talking about food. Katie ran off to get food and yelled “come on.” I was so tired and probably said “Right behind you.” I didn’t move I just laid there and took a nap outside of city hall. I woke up about 30/45 minutes later (thanks to a bus) and I was home by 8:30 in the morning.

Today I played jeopardy with my classes. I haven’t played a game in a long time because we are too busy working on sentence structure and other important grammar problems. The only reason we played jeopardy is because one of the other teachers has swine flu and stayed home. They took all of her classes and put them in mine. Just imagine how nice that is. My classes are double in size 40-50 students in one class. It is so hard to control, especially when you don’t speak Korean and you are by yourself. I actually lost control and yelled at one class. Korean teachers yell and beat the students all the time. It is all they know. Kids get beat with sticks it is really scary. I was giving a speech about not playing the recorder in my class here is how the speech went. Imagine I have a high voice but when I am angry/serious my voice drops and I get super loud. Loud deep man voice.

“I don’t know what you do in the other teacher’s class but in my class we do not talk when I talk. We also do NOT play the recorder……. (A girl turns around and starts talking) (insert MATT”S SCREAMING DEVIL VOICE)….YOU RIGHT THERE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING. ARE YOU STUPID? I SAID NO TALKING WHEN I AM TALKING.” The class of 50 middle school boys and girls went silent. I could hear that girl’s heart beat. No one moved. The rest of the class went perfect. I was really angry because they put the low level student in my class and they can’t understand English or speak English and I didn’t have a co-teacher. I can’t speak Korean but I can sure speak I am going to SMACK THE HELL OUT OF YOU. Seriously, the other teacher lets those kids walk all over her. The kids walk out of class saying “I love you.” Gosh, I love children but only my children. Keep those other classes away from me. Next week she will be back. Thank God.

In another class today, one of the boys started crying because I would not call on him to answer a question. It was so funny but I felt bad. He is really smart and knows every question before I ask it. One of the questions I asked after he finished crying was “When did Mr. Weaver move to Korea.” He raised his hands and shouted, “July!” I thought “Wow that is creepy; he answered that way too fast.” One of the other student shouted “stalker.” I lost control with laughter. I then asked him “What did I eat for breakfast?” Thank God he didn’t know.