Hashing in Korea....What?

Disclaimer--You will probably always be offended by the content of my blogs...if your not then I am doing a horrible job. P.S. I am just j/K ing ...yeah I know I just used Just Just Kidding....get over it. Some people have no ideal what I am talking about.


So I tell the funniest jokes ever!!! I plan them in my lesson plan…..kids response… “ ” yeah that is nothing. Yet I called a student crazy and the class went NUTS!!! They love the word crazy, they don’t have a word like crazy here so it translates to INSANE!! I guess it is funny.

My co-teachers love me…they always ask me if I am tired…I didn’t know why until one of them told me that I made them tired from running around the room so much. They told me I had a lot of energy…my response “its part of the music.”
Okay, so tons of people smoke here…well, I don’t. I have noticed that…. American’s "bum a cigarette” and British people "get a fag". Put them together and what do you get? LoL…

I asked a girl what her hobby was...and she said “dieting”....I felt so bad for her….my reaction…. I made a throw up gesture and asked if she made herself throw up….nobody laughed because they didn’t understand. Thank Goodness because as soon as I did the gesture I wish I hadn’t because what if she really had a problem. One girl said her English name was ‘Britney Spears’ I laughed so hard….but no one else did…I asked if she was nuts and she looked at me funny…..I just laughed because I wanted to say something else….She said “No” I am a dancer….I just laughed again….as you can tell I spend most of my time laughing….at least the class laughs also. Even though they are laughing at me laughing at them.

Today my Korean Co-teacher says “You must be starving because you’re so hyper when you teach. My response “No, but I could use a drink”…..He brings me water. He didn’t understand I was making a joke….ahahah…No one gets my jokes….
I attended this running group thing called Hashing…..I know Matt in a running group (be impressed) Well it is much more than a running group!! Trust me read more on this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hash_House_Harriers
Hashing was pretty amazing! It is more like a hunt! Two people start about 15 minutes before everyone else and chalk out a path….These two people try to trick us with confusing chalk marks…anyways we follow the path and there are many activities for us to do on this path….some of them I can’t blog about…lol…The group is composed of mainly Air Force folk/American’s…ahaha…so you get the drift….well there is one station it’s called a boob check…you get to the station and the girls have to flash you before you get to move on…..yea…you just read that and you can’t take it back….it was actually funny….most girls just show their sports bra’s….it is funny because Korean people are just so amused/confused/and scared at what we were doing….anyways the trail was about 5/6 miles long and the trail went in the most extreme places possible…..We had to climb up this steep hill with no paths or rope or anything…..all in all…it was pretty fun instead of water breaks they have beer breaks….but you can drink water! I could tell you more but then I would have to kill you…..

My balls really might start to glow in the dark....sick title...sorry about that

Well....I joined a gym last week. I joined with a buddy that lives close by. The gym is on the 6 and 7 floors of a tall building....pretty cool to look out while you exercise! Ok...so gyms in Korea are totally different!!!!! Why...I will tell you in the most hilarious way possible....(because that's how I roll...ummmm roll with butter...I want one.....ok back to gym) When you get off the elevator (ummm yea I take the elevator...it's almost 7 floors of stairs...don't think I am lazy...I just don't want to exercise until I am actually in the gym....insert a funny fat joke.) Ok so I am a fat ass and take the elevator...Well when I get off...(the elevator that is) awkward...sorry...I grab a towel, shorts, and shirt...yea I have to wear the clothes they provide!! It's nice because it's less laundry....I should tell you my laundry story...I am so ADD...one thing at a time....Ok so I grab all my stuff and go to locker room to change...I open the shorts and they have the underwear lining already built in....I thought to myself (What the hell...there is no way in hell I am sharing underwear with Korean guys ...hell I didn't even get dinner and I am already sharing underwear....) I was so grossed out...but anyways...I still sat on the bench for a few minutes trying to decide if I should use my own underwear and put the shorts over top (yea...I know...why would I need to even think about it....I don't know....sometimes I do stupid things....I just needed a minute to decide...give me a break..I am a little slow sometimes) So I asked my friend Jeff if he was keeping his underwear on...(I know that sounds like an awkward question....kind of personal when you don't know someone...and sometimes my jokes don't translate well to Canadian people..) He kept his on...so I followed his advice......so I am so excited...the gym!!!! We walk down and the personal trainer (which is a tiny little woman) weighs us and tells me I'm fat (not literally but Americans are just built bigger than Korean ppl...I saw the way she looked at me when I was on that scale.....) so I was totally surprised because then she starts to gives us free training...I thought it was cool until we start lifting weights and she puts 20 pounds for me to lift...I seriously laughed out loud.....I thought...really though...I could pick you up and throw you across this room...but I laughed and did what I was told....it was so funny to see me barely lifting any weights at all....I had a gym membership back in Texas and I have been lifting for the past half year...so I am not a total weak bag....So I laughed at every machine because I felt like a baby.....and then I realized that the shorts (with the built in Underwear) were giving me the biggest wedgie...I laughed because every 4 minutes I had to pick my wedgie...I hate things being crammed up my butt (I could totally make a gay joke right now...I will pass though) Anyways it was quite awkward having to pick at my ass so much....but I made it through...so as I left the gym....I was really wondering if I should just not wear underwear and then I thought....(could I get a STD from those shorts...then I started to freak myself out...lol...then I thought of my pervious blog title...My balls glow in the Dark...I thought karma is a Bitch sometimes....even though someone told her name was Kristen....is that even funny...oh well..I am leaving it. So I know that was toooo much info...but I can tell you would really like to know if I wear underwear at the gym....It's get worse the more you read...


Too much info....never....Awkward bathroom story...ok so I am minding my own business going pee in a urinal and there are many open urinals around me... this Old Little Korean guy (he comes up to my belly button almost) comes and stands right next me.....I thought oh great (while your down there) (short joke...I know I am a horrible person) lol......I could feel him blatantly staring at my junk...for those who don't know what junk is (it's penis) lol...I bet I just made someone feel uncomfortable because you just thought of a penis...sorry mom..no I'm not...maybe I should be though...ahahaha...but could you imagine my level of uncomfortableness when a short little old guy is staring at you while you try to pee....I mean if you have to look...just glance from the corner of your eye...don't turn your head like your an owl...I was thinking (I can see you) ....so I turned and looked at him so he would stop....that didn't work... he didn't stop looking.....next time I am just going to hand him a picture....it's like come on....if you must look then just take a peek..(if that's how you roll)....Ok...So I am just going to take this as flattery.....nothing really bothers me anymore...I think I am coming immune to feeling uncomfortable...because I just thought it was funny.....

I can't believe it's not butter

WOW! I can't believe I forgot to blog about this....yesterday I am sitting at my desk peacefully...not harming anyone. When my co-teacher says "We are going to lunch to eat MUD FISH. Is this ok?".....well I guess I don't have a choice.....I said MUD FISH....he laughed (like the devil would when he gets a soul) I thought oh S*** .....along with other things....A long time ago I was a picky eater...by long time ago I mean two weeks ago...holy cow...First of all I HATE fish....it makes me sick when I eat it...except Salmon..and a couple other fish....but anyway I said sure...this is ok.....thinking to myself (SCREW ME and if I throw up in the restaurant I will die)....He begins to explain what mud fish were...I almost threw up.....Watch the posted video....So we get to the restaurant and I am dreading every bit of this..actually it is kind of exciting...because I made a bet with myself....if I was going to throw up or not....I bet myself 5,000 won...about 5 dollars...I bet conservatively because I don't wont to loose 5 dollars.....So we sit down and they bring out the soup stuff and Soju.....I looked at Soju and thought I have to drink a whole bottle of that stuff....so we drank a few bottles of Soju and I began to eat my soup....holy cow...this is good...I thought...until my co-teacher turns to me and said...this is the same soup they put dog in...I almost threw up....wow...did you just tell me that..I was already having a hard time.....I though for a second that I was eating dog...my heart sank....I asked...this isn't dog is it? He laughed and said NO.....my heart perked backed up and I held my self together....all in all...I ate that Mud Fish like a champ!!! Go me....I think I can eat anything now....(that's what she said) I know......ok...two blogs in one day...pretty impressive...by the way....I felt so sick for the rest of the day....Mud Fish, Mud Fish you were yummy, now you upset my tummy....yea that's a poem/song...be impressed...(maybe if you sing chant it...it will make sense to you) Don't judge just try it... until we meet again

My balls glow in the dark!

Disclaimer--You might pee on the floor...not from laughing but from drinking to much water....what does that even mean?????? I don't know.... go look it up in the dictionary....lol...tell me what you find!

Shopping in Korea…..is kind of like going to the zoo. Sometimes you never know what the heck anything is…..other times your so astonished by all the animals, smells and freaky crap…..(stop). I don’t know where I am going with this….so I am stopping….anyways we went to Costco last week…speaking of overwhelming….I just get so overwhelmed…trying to figure what I want to buy…..is this meat?…what kind of meat….I hope it’s beef….do you think it’s beef….what if it’s dog….all of this is going through my mind….I felt so crazy…well sometimes I am crazy…..if this isn’t enough….I get the stare down from everyone….I think they’re thinking “Look at the weird American….what does he want… is he buying Dog?…..heheheheh” …I really felt insane….ppl were staring at me and I was talking to myself…...oh and if that isn’t enough….people just cough in your face…yea COUGH in MY FACE….this is normal here….I am teaching my students to COVER THEIR FREAKING MOUTHS WHEN THEY COUGH….ughhh…sorry for yelling…but that is how people get STD’s….I mean Swine Flu……ahahha….they wonder why everyone is sick all the time…well if you cover your mouth when something fly’s out of it …..then the world would be a better place…Yesterday, we were walking down the street and an old lady coughed in my face I screamed and covered my mouth…..Jerk…(I really wanted to think something else if you know what I mean)…..if they won’t cover their mouth…then I will cover mine…I swear if I get swine flu and die I will Hunt that old hag…….wow…I just got on a rant about that….now that it is off my chest I can tell you how great Korea is…lol…I really enjoy it so far!!!! Except for the coughing in my face all the time…and the staring/pointing…..I even had some boys point at me in the restroom while I was peeing….speaking of awkward….I told them to take a picture….the best thing about Korea is that you can say the most ridiculous things and no one will understand you….I LOVE IT!!!! I told the cab driver that my neighbor had AIDS….yea…it’s a inside joke….because when we first got here…they asked us if we had AIDS…first of all, if I had AIDS I wouldn’t be in Korea...2nd I gave AIDS up for lent…j/k …AIDS isn’t something to joke about…sorry Kevin Watson… j/k just because someone is gay doesn’t mean they have AIDS…you first have to get HIV…then it turns into AIDS..Ok….moving along……..


Sorry for waiting so long to blog! I have so much to write…ughhh……At Costco I bought a glow in the dark basketball, football, and soccer ball….glow in the dark!!! Every night when I turn my lights off it freaks me out!!! Then again I can always find my balls (that’s what she said)…I am so sorry you had to read that……
So two Saturdays ago I met up with my friend Kaju from Huntsville!!!!! She showed me around town and was the best host ever!! We saw a Play/show called Cookin’…it was awesome…..I don’t want elaborate so boo you.


Yesterday, we took the bus….my great idea was to jump off the bus running and screaming ….I was the only loon to follow through and looked pretty insane….it’s cool…. people think I am insane anyways….


Oh…yea my cell phone story…quite entertaining….Ok so I got a cell phone….good story…huh?...You just got screwed…..I know that’s what I felt like trying to get a cell phone ….I walked in to a random store and asked if they spoke English…of course they didn’t…boo….but the girl insisted that she could help….I thought…this is scary because in America they would bend me over backwards and screw me so hard my butt would bleed….(sorry for the graphic imagine…it felt necessary) …but seriously days of bleeding in Korea is no fun…I don’t know because I am not a girl….(way to soon) Ok so back to Cell phone…I found a good looking phone and they wrote down a price of 90,000 won….I made a ridiculous face and laughed….they marked it out…..and wrote 50,000 won….I maintained my poker face….which is a cute/innocent/honest face….(while thinking…I am going to get you before you get me sucker!!) So with my poker face …I asked questions in English and they looked puzzled…..they asked questions in Korean….I looked puzzled…..We sat for a while just talking back and forth while no one understood….we all looked puzzled….it is quite funny looking back now…. ….why did I sit there….I don’t know….I wanted a cell phone…finally the sales person called a translator…Thank you JESUS!!! So, I talked to the translator and told her everything I wanted….which was CHEAP CHEAP AND MORE CHEAP…..well cell service here is cheap anyways!!! We had to call the translator back about 4 times….finally after 3 hours of talking AT each other….I got a cell phone…..and as I sat there waiting…. the cell phone girl (that is what she will be called) wrote down her name and cell phone number and told me to come back Saturday at 7:00 pm….I said ok…Do I have to wait until Saturday to pick up my phone….she laughed and said no…I was so confused but said ok…she then gave me a free cell phone case and a plastic protector..and some other stuff….I thought to myself…awesome!!! Well, I asked again about why I needed to come back Saturday and she said yes…I was so confused…I had asked a question not a statement….darn…..so as I was walking away…I realized that is what time she must have gotten off….I realized I had a date for Saturday…..I was laughing so hard…(that’s what she said) but really that is funny….well I didn’t go because I stayed out until 10:30 am the morning of Saturday and slept until 6:30 pm….and forgot about the date……I probably would not have been charming anyway…..and plus what would we do….just stare at each other the whole time…we couldn’t have a conversation….lol….ok so that is my story…I promise to blog every Friday… Until my next adventure!