You’ve asked for it and its back!
Ever had one of those ‘Wanna get away moments’? Well, I just had one. Let’s start at the beginning, God created Matt Weaver, the greatest thing since slice bread. Slice bread is pretty awesome by the way. By the Way is also a convenient store in Korea, yeah that is useless information, sorry about that. A little background information since I haven’t blogged in a while. I’ve had this cough that comes and goes, it’s actually quite annoying like a Jehovah witness that doesn’t get the point. I think it runs in my family because my mom had this coughing thing when I was in high school, she would just start coughing and then throw up, it was kind of gross. Thank God I don’t throw up, I just cough. I really think she was just trying to be Bulimic…anyways, I went to the doctor and he told me that I had chronic bronchitis….fast-forward to my today.
I bought a starbucks coffee this morning and brought it to school. My principal decided to stop by my office and is being really generous like he does. He sits next to me while another teacher makes him a coffee; I have a coffee so this is going to be a nice little break with my principal. You’re probably thinking “when is a break with Matt Weaver ever pleasant?” and you would be correct. As I’m taking a big gulp of my starbucks coffee, my principal says something funny and I had a tickle in my throat which made me need to cough. So I’m trying so hard to hold in my high pitched laugh and a cough at the same time, but failure was unavoidable, coffee went everywhere, by everywhere I mean everywhere all over my WHITE shirt, my computer, my pictures, my books, my desk but worst of all some got on my principal’s WHITE shirt. We both wore white today……. I spewed coffee on my principals white shirt and now he has to walk around school with my spit on him for the rest of the day. HOW embarrassing. I felt soooooo humiliated, who does that? A baby does that or a Canadian person. …..so awkward, what do you say? The first thing I did was grab my Tide to-go pen! It was like a tide commercial. Thank God I’m always prepared(not with condoms and stuff, that's gross. Get your mind out of the gutter. Sorry, I think I put it there), I'm always spilling stuff. My principal wasn’t angry, he actually laughed and was amazed at my tide pen. Now I’m that guy, the one who spits coffee on people or I’m the guy that has a tide-to-go –pen, who am I? a soccer mom. ………
In other news, yesterday I caught one of my 14 year boys rubbing a picture of Megan Fox’s boobs. I didn’t know what to say, so I just started coughing until he looked at me and I pretended I didn’t see him. What do you say to that? “Excuse me, Minsu, please stop touching Megan Fox’s boobs.” Yeah, I didn’t want to say that.
In other other news this week, this same boob boy started hugging me and calling me sexy Weaver. This is our conversation, while he is hugging me:
Minsu (fake name): Sexy Weaver, I love you.
Me: This is awkward and uncomfortable.
Minsu: No, I’m fine.
Me: No, I’m uncomfortable.
Minsu: No, you’re fine and sexy. S-line Weaver, you sexy.
Me: Let go.
This kid is actually really funny, he cracks me up. S-line sexy Weaver, I find it humorous.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
White people don't do that.
This morning I’m am sitting peacefully at my desk when all of a sudden my co-worker comes frantically over and TELLS me to come shovel snow. I laugh in her face and say "That’s funny." I thought she was just kidding because I give her a hard time about stuff but she wasn't joking around. She said, “Come on let’s go.” Like it would be pleasurable or some sort of game. I knew that tone of voice I’ve been tricked way to many times. I laughed some more and said "I don't do that; you need to go hire some poor people or janitors or something.” She replied “Come on let’s go.” I knew she didn’t understand anything I was saying. I laughed some more and replied in a slow voice “I’m seriously not doing that.” She tried to explain it was our duty as Korean teachers. I replied with “I’m not Korean; I’m the native English speaker.” I love messing around with this particular co-worker because she is my age and basically the same position as me. After joking around for a couple minutes I explained that I’ve been sick all week and flying to Thailand on Saturday. I refused to go outside and sweat and freeze my ass off, I am not getting sick again. I was kind of shocked that I would be asked to shovel snow. I know it’s the Korean way but I’m not Korean. Yes, I live in Korea and I respect the Korean way but I am definitely not shoveling snow. If I wasn’t sick I probably still wouldn’t shovel snow because I would get hot and sweaty and then that sweat would freeze my balls together. I want kids someday. Plus, I’m wearing nice clothes and I’m not going be known as the smelly American teacher. Today the students graduate middle school and our principal wants the school to look nice. I understand that just don’t come knocking on my door. I’m the only minority in the school! I probably sound like a whinny bitch but I don't care. Minority power!
Monday, January 18, 2010
My students
These are videos my students created during winter camp.
I let my students create videos based on anything they wanted. The students wrote out the scripts, staged the scenes, and even edited the videos on my computer.
Here is the first one Aladdin.....or Aladin (The Korean version with a 9mm)
My first graders (6th/7th graders in the U.S.) created this video.
This video is the Korean view on Romeo and Juliet.
These are my 2nd graders (7th/8th graders in the U.S.)
No, I did not spend the entire class time working on these. They were so excited about the videos that they worked on the them after school! I was so impressed! Remember, I had no creative input at all!!! A speaking role was given to me at the last second. I'm definitely not winning an Oscar for that one. I didn't know they went outside and were filming gun scenes....I guess if no one complains then it's okay. We watched the videos in class and I was shocked to see the gun scene. Which happened to take place outside of the principal's office, thank goodness he was not at school. All of the videos turned out to be really violent with death and guns....I was really horrified.
This next video is Flower Man. It's a Korean TV show. I didn't understand at all what these girls were doing....but it turned out interesting. They had a blast. I learned that I should have certain criteria and guidelines for the students to follow. Korean culture and American culture are soooooo different. Enough said.
I let my students create videos based on anything they wanted. The students wrote out the scripts, staged the scenes, and even edited the videos on my computer.
Here is the first one Aladdin.....or Aladin (The Korean version with a 9mm)
My first graders (6th/7th graders in the U.S.) created this video.
This video is the Korean view on Romeo and Juliet.
These are my 2nd graders (7th/8th graders in the U.S.)
No, I did not spend the entire class time working on these. They were so excited about the videos that they worked on the them after school! I was so impressed! Remember, I had no creative input at all!!! A speaking role was given to me at the last second. I'm definitely not winning an Oscar for that one. I didn't know they went outside and were filming gun scenes....I guess if no one complains then it's okay. We watched the videos in class and I was shocked to see the gun scene. Which happened to take place outside of the principal's office, thank goodness he was not at school. All of the videos turned out to be really violent with death and guns....I was really horrified.
This next video is Flower Man. It's a Korean TV show. I didn't understand at all what these girls were doing....but it turned out interesting. They had a blast. I learned that I should have certain criteria and guidelines for the students to follow. Korean culture and American culture are soooooo different. Enough said.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Can you feel the love tonight
So what has Matt Weaver been up to lately? Wouldn’t you like to know!! Well, that is why you have been bugging me to blog! Sorry, I am really cold and I don’t like to do anything when I’m cold…..what a lame freaking excuse. I know, but that’s what you get for loving me. Christmas and New Years I spent with my friends and I actually had a great time! New Years a group of us went into Seoul and I thought I was going to die…seriously, I have never seen so many freaking little people in the world. Not midgets, just Koreans….Here is a picture in the subway….
I was reminded of the scene from The Lion King, where Mufasa comes to rescue Simba and manages to do so, only to be thrown to his death back into the stampede by Scar. It was so scary I wanted my dad to come bite me by my neck and take me to safety. Actually, that would be weird….so never mind.
My memory fades me. Let me tell you what is going on recently. I joined an acting group called Seoul Players! It’s really awesome. I gave my acting role to my friend and so this time around I am just a director! I know, me directing!! How awesome! I’m directing Titus Andronicus Act 3 scene 1, gotta love Shakespeare.
Funny stuff this week….Last Friday my school gave me the day off! I was so excited and didn’t want to ask too many questions because then they might change their minds. On Monday, I arrived at school to realize that the whole school was being remodeled. I opened the office door and all of my stuff was gone…what the hell? I had 5 minutes before class started and all of my materials were gone. I had laid everything on my desk ready to go last Thursday. I thought it was a joke and then I realized they had built a freaking wall through half of the office…..I thought “Where did that wall come from? And where the heck is my stuff?” So I franticly searched for my stuff….In the supply room I found a big blue box with Matthew written on it. I ripped it open and grabbed my stuff and ran to class…..holy cow Korea gives me a heart attack sometimes. I only had two classes to teach that day and the first class was awesome it was the second class that almost put me over the edge.
These classes are not normal classes, they are winter camps. I have about 10 students in each class and we meet for 1 hour and 40 minutes. Then I go home!!! I am starting class and explaining the schedule for the day as I walk towards the door to shut it when a bird flies right at my head….I duck and start screaming, then everyone starts screaming. Then a boy pulls out, what looks to be, a hand gun and I start screaming even louder like a little girl…..What the hell…now everyone is screaming and someone is going to get shot! I finally stopped screaming because I became concerned that the boy was going to shoot someone…and by someone I mean me…My first thought was to get rid of the gun so I demanded him to put the gun away.
Yeah, my education courses never trained me what to do when a kid pulls out a gun. The kid puts his gun away and I tell the students to shoo the nasty bird out of the class. I’ve been pooped on way to many times….I’m not dumb, kids can handle poop better than I could. There is only one other teacher teaching and she comes out of her class to see what was happening…I just wave and say “HI” and she quietly shuts her door. Thank God no one can speak English! I am just relieved no one got shot. I go back in the classroom and here is the dialogue between me and the gang member(gun boy):
Why do you have a gun?
You told me it was okay.
What?
Yeah, I asked you and you said yes. It’s my bb gun.
Oh, it’s just a bb gun. Thank God, but wait are you allowed to have a bb gun at school?
Oh it’s okay, no bullets.
Okay, no bullets. It’s okay then…..end of conversation
(I had the students create a movie/play for the camp) I remembered reading over the scripts they made and approving it. They chose to reenact Aladdin with a twist. I had read the script and I remembered Aladdin’s uncle dies but I didn’t remember anything about a gun. Oh gosh….
At the moment I thought the BB gun was okay because they are allowed to bring box cutters (razors) to school but if I had to do it over again….I definitely would not have allowed the gun to be used in the play. The language barrier is a challenge all the time. After this I began recording the movies they made….the same kid starts running around the room with the gun yelling you mother fu**er, you will die…..and another kid yells oh shit, oh shit, oh shit….I stop and ask….where did that come from? That is not in the script I approved….they say “We added them, you like?” I bow my head in shame. I really wanted to laugh my ass off but this was neither the place nor time. I kind of felt it was my fault because I gave them free rein to create anything they wanted. I didn’t want to supervise that much because I didn’t want to do it for them….I made them re-shoot the video with no curse words. I will post the video soon.
In other news, Kara and her friend Michelle are coming soon! I am so excited; it will be so awesome to have a friend from back home here! Also, I am going to Laos/Thailand from Feb. 13 to Feb. 26!!!
I was reminded of the scene from The Lion King, where Mufasa comes to rescue Simba and manages to do so, only to be thrown to his death back into the stampede by Scar. It was so scary I wanted my dad to come bite me by my neck and take me to safety. Actually, that would be weird….so never mind.
My memory fades me. Let me tell you what is going on recently. I joined an acting group called Seoul Players! It’s really awesome. I gave my acting role to my friend and so this time around I am just a director! I know, me directing!! How awesome! I’m directing Titus Andronicus Act 3 scene 1, gotta love Shakespeare.
Funny stuff this week….Last Friday my school gave me the day off! I was so excited and didn’t want to ask too many questions because then they might change their minds. On Monday, I arrived at school to realize that the whole school was being remodeled. I opened the office door and all of my stuff was gone…what the hell? I had 5 minutes before class started and all of my materials were gone. I had laid everything on my desk ready to go last Thursday. I thought it was a joke and then I realized they had built a freaking wall through half of the office…..I thought “Where did that wall come from? And where the heck is my stuff?” So I franticly searched for my stuff….In the supply room I found a big blue box with Matthew written on it. I ripped it open and grabbed my stuff and ran to class…..holy cow Korea gives me a heart attack sometimes. I only had two classes to teach that day and the first class was awesome it was the second class that almost put me over the edge.
These classes are not normal classes, they are winter camps. I have about 10 students in each class and we meet for 1 hour and 40 minutes. Then I go home!!! I am starting class and explaining the schedule for the day as I walk towards the door to shut it when a bird flies right at my head….I duck and start screaming, then everyone starts screaming. Then a boy pulls out, what looks to be, a hand gun and I start screaming even louder like a little girl…..What the hell…now everyone is screaming and someone is going to get shot! I finally stopped screaming because I became concerned that the boy was going to shoot someone…and by someone I mean me…My first thought was to get rid of the gun so I demanded him to put the gun away.
Yeah, my education courses never trained me what to do when a kid pulls out a gun. The kid puts his gun away and I tell the students to shoo the nasty bird out of the class. I’ve been pooped on way to many times….I’m not dumb, kids can handle poop better than I could. There is only one other teacher teaching and she comes out of her class to see what was happening…I just wave and say “HI” and she quietly shuts her door. Thank God no one can speak English! I am just relieved no one got shot. I go back in the classroom and here is the dialogue between me and the gang member(gun boy):
Why do you have a gun?
You told me it was okay.
What?
Yeah, I asked you and you said yes. It’s my bb gun.
Oh, it’s just a bb gun. Thank God, but wait are you allowed to have a bb gun at school?
Oh it’s okay, no bullets.
Okay, no bullets. It’s okay then…..end of conversation
(I had the students create a movie/play for the camp) I remembered reading over the scripts they made and approving it. They chose to reenact Aladdin with a twist. I had read the script and I remembered Aladdin’s uncle dies but I didn’t remember anything about a gun. Oh gosh….
At the moment I thought the BB gun was okay because they are allowed to bring box cutters (razors) to school but if I had to do it over again….I definitely would not have allowed the gun to be used in the play. The language barrier is a challenge all the time. After this I began recording the movies they made….the same kid starts running around the room with the gun yelling you mother fu**er, you will die…..and another kid yells oh shit, oh shit, oh shit….I stop and ask….where did that come from? That is not in the script I approved….they say “We added them, you like?” I bow my head in shame. I really wanted to laugh my ass off but this was neither the place nor time. I kind of felt it was my fault because I gave them free rein to create anything they wanted. I didn’t want to supervise that much because I didn’t want to do it for them….I made them re-shoot the video with no curse words. I will post the video soon.
In other news, Kara and her friend Michelle are coming soon! I am so excited; it will be so awesome to have a friend from back home here! Also, I am going to Laos/Thailand from Feb. 13 to Feb. 26!!!
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