Mom stay out of my head!!!!!!!!!!

Disclaimer—you might go legally stupid from reading my blog. Seriously.

We all know mothers can be overprotective and plain out annoying sometimes. Come on, honest truth. We are all like that to a point. Well not me. I am never annoying. You’re thinking “Whatever, you are the most annoying person I know.” I am thinking “I hate you Kristen.” Kristen is my sister…the loudest, most opinionated person I know… besides my mother. Love you MOM!

Yesterday, a group of friends and I took a trip to COSTCO! I love that store, makes me feel like I am back at home. After the trip, I helped my friend Katie carry her groceries back to her apartment. We decided to go on a treasure hunt! She saw a couch she wanted on the side of the street. We were looking at this piece of furniture and I grabbed the couch to pull it out……when I sliced my arm on a huge piece of glass. (Insert profanity….by profanity I mean darn the devil, oh man, and crap cakes…) I really didn’t care that much, I have a high tolerance for pain. My arm was dripping with blood, so we had to move the couch fast. Don’t worry mom, I rubbed some dirt on the cut and we continued the treasure hunt. I love treasure hunts!

On my way home, my mother popped in my head….(Oh mom. You are still as obtrusive as you are back home)….She was saying, (with a thick country accent) “Oh my gosh Matt, you have hepatitis now. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Or you have AIDS…..AIDS Matt, that is so serious. Oh Matt, what were you thinking cutting yourself” I literally rolled my eyes. Now I have a phobia of catching hepatitis…I don’t even know what hepatitis is but I know I don’t want it.

I have so many phobias now and I blame my MOTHER. Love you mom, but you are a little over the top sometimes. By sometimes I mean all the time and by a little I mean a lot. My mom thinks I am going to get axed murdered wherever I go. She probably wants to axe murder me herself most of the time because I make fun of her. You know I love you when I make fun of you. Most of the time, I don’t tell my mom what I am doing because she will freak out and just worry to death. I tell her at the last moment or after I do it or not at all. I am so glad my mom can’t blog because I would hate her response to this blog. I imagine it would go like this:

(In a thick country accent) (It works better if I read it, but I can’t)

Matthew Ryan Weaver, I’m going to come to Korea and slap the hell out of you. It’s been a while since you’ve had a good ole slap. I have a right to worry; you are my titty-baby. (Yeah, she calls me a titty-baby) Hepatitis and AIDS is nothing to joke about. You should go right now and get a hepatitis shot. (Insert Matt giving an eye roll) And you are such an idiot; you can’t get AIDS from broken glass. Hepatitis can kill you, you moron. Go right now and get one. How many times have I told you to get a hepatitis shot. (Insert another eye roll) ……..This is when my ADD kicks in and I never listen to the rest…..

On Monday, I had my students work in groups. One of the groups of girls decided that they were not going to work… I walked over to punish them and I sternly asked “What do you think you’re doing?” One of the girls fluttered her eyes and said “You’re so handsome and your eyes are so beautiful. Are you mad at us?” Of course I couldn’t punish them….they were so adorable. I started to laugh and my stern mean face went away. I joked around with them about not getting into university and being losers for the rest of their life….they started working and actually turned in some of the best work of the week. This is actually the first time I went to punish someone and I ended not doing it. I really don’t punish my students…they don’t need it. They pay attention and are awesome most of the time.

Ha Ha, this was fun making fun of my mom! Love everyone back home. Take care, and don’t worry. I don’t have any weird diseases. I eat lots of kimchi.