Scrub, Scrub, Scrub....pause.

Disclaimer this blog may contain material inappropriate for children and may/will stereotype people for humor sake. Seriously though…okay, read it you scardy cat.

Personal space, can I have some. Please back up off of my nuts. Wow. Yeah, you just read that. I am so glad I got that off of my chest. Let me explain. Everything is not bigger in Korea (Texas joke, kind of lame) everything and everyone is stacked on top of each other. I know, awkward! I will continue on about personal space in the locker-room. Oh no, some of you might want to look away. By look away I mean not read any more of my blog. I know you’re just so amused with me that you must keep reading, even if you are offended. Ok, so you’re thinking this better be good because I just wasted 1 minute of my time opening up a webpage to read this crap.

Okay, here we go. I joined a gym a couple weeks ago and I was really hesitant about taking a shower. (at the gym of course) Why, you might ask. First of all the locker room is not big at all…(that’s what she said…wait…does that work….maybe, you decide and tell someone who cares…I care, so tell me..Back to the story…is it a story?) and it is jammed packed with Korean guys. So tiny room with tiny naked people, kind of freaks me out (I feel like I am in Ireland with leprecons…yeah even with rainbows). Guys are blow drying their tiny balls and standing in the mirror NAKED checking themselves out. (What is their to check out? Really though? Don’t be offended yet.) So, the gym has a dress code. When I walk in, I grab shorts, shirt, and a towel. Well I bring my own shorts because the gym shorts ride my crack and I hate that feeling. (I don’ t live in Montrose) The towel they provide is smaller than a hand towel…..yea, picture me trying to dry off with a hand towel. (You are so disgusting, picturing me naked…I feel so violated.)

Where was I…I have so much ADD sometimes…not mathematic skills…oh, never mind. I grab my shorts, shirt, and towel and head for the locker room and while I’m trying to change, naked guys accidentally graze me…it is so disgusting but so not weird to them…so I just have to get over my phobia of naked men grazing me while I change…..(WHAT? Insert your own gay joke) yea when in Rome. So yesterday, I had a great workout and was extremely sweaty. I decided that I would rinse off because there were only like 6 guys in the locker room. So I grab my HAND towel and head to the shower. I was taking a shower, thinking of a random song (I will always love you Dolly Parton…I know, the gayest song to think in the shower…well, at least I didn’t sing it in the shower.) I was standing thinking of my song and I grab the bar of soap and start scrubbing my body….so, I am scrubbing away and then I pause. Why did I pause? Go Inside my brain “I didn’t bring this bar of soap to the gym….whose soap is this?....I am going to get an STD from this…oh, crap…what if they have herpes…can I get herpes from using strangers soap?” Get out of my brain….Disgusting. I used community soap on my body. You’re probably asking yourself “Did he use it on his face?” I don’t have to answer that. I was so disgusted….I think that is nasty to use a bar of soap that someone else used. Anyways, I got out of the shower and felt like a giant because here I am with this tiny little towel. I couldn’t even completely dry off with the towel. Anyways it was funny. I love Korea because random crap happens all the time. Until I offend you again.